Our tendency is to make our concern about abortion legalistic, by which I mean that we take the wrong of abortion out of its context and point the finger at other people who commit it. The now-political nature of the issue means that we tend to demonize those who oppose our viewpoint and use rhetoric full of venom and vindictive accusations rather than "grace seasoned with salt". The thing is, Jesus makes it clear that even harboring such hate in your heart is as bad as going out and murdering a person. It's a tough teaching to deal with, but it has quite a bit of wisdom and validity: hate for someone makes you wish or at least embrace ill happening to them. (Matthew 5:21-22) On a more practical level, charged, angry dialogue doesn't really benefit anybody, much less win them over to your way of thinking; it makes people of the opposite opinion equally angry and causes them to think less of you and your opinion and cause, and causes those who don't know where they stand to see you as combative and, well, angry. Moreover, it takes the focus off of the real issues, the tragedy of abortion and the difficult, emotionally draining situation women in unplanned pregnancies face that drive them to terminate their pregnancy. It's a scary, emotional situation to be in and Christians need to be mindful of and sensitive to that.
Honestly, I'm not sure how Mary did it. What happened to her is probably on my top fifteen worst case scenarios list. I have had dreams repeatedly where I unexpectedly get pregnant in spite of, ahem, not doing anything that would typically cause such an occurrence. I can recall the vivid emotions that arose from finding myself in that situation, dream though it was. Scared, vulnerable, ashamed, confused, unsure of what to do. I was never quite so relieved to wake up and realize that a dream wasn't real life. I'm not saying that it's horrible to have a baby, but it is overwhelming for anyone, particularly for someone who hasn't had the chance to prepare. I can only imagine based on my lucid dream-world experience what it must be like: The weight of your new situation falls on you like a heavy blanket; your life will never be the same, even if you weren't to keep the baby. Your future is being decided for you suddenly and you feel your future plans melting away and your world closing in.
No one can doubt that having a baby changes your life completely. But women with planned pregnancies have the chance to prepare mentally, emotionally, financially, and relationship-wise for that radical change. They expect it, anticipate it, eagerly. They can expect the support of friends, family, and society at large. People will be joyful at their new life phase. A woman with an unplanned pregnancy rarely receives such support and may often encounter the opposite - stigma, judgment, and abandonment just when she needs friendship and unconditional love the most. Not to mention the disappointment in oneself and self-hatred that may accompany if the woman feels she has let down her family or herself or broken rules she or her family or community set for her. And there's the stress of whether the father will ditch her because he doesn't want a baby or even pressure her to abort it or give it up against her will.
When I look at the issue of abortion, I see these women. The confusion and fear they probably find themselves in. I have experienced how difficult it is to have one's life trajectory completely thrown off-kilter in a smaller way; I can't imagine if one found out they had to take care of another human being for the next twenty years, most likely without a significant other's support. This should awaken our compassion and humanitarian consideration, not our judgment. I know that the natural reaction to this line of thinking is to argue that these women brought their problem on themselves through their own poor choices or wrong behavior, but that brings one to the issue that we all sin and have to face the consequences of it, yet those who commit sins that are easier to hide like to make a big deal out of sins they personally don't commit to distract others and themselves from the ones that they do...What does that say about that person's relationship with God?
Christians, of all people, should be the ones who recognize that we all sin and face awful consequences as a result of those mistakes because sins are things that God doesn't want us to do because they hurt us and others. We should thus be the first ones to say, "You know what, I get it. We all mess up and it gets us into difficult situations where we don't know what to do. But I'm a sinner too saved only by God's grace. So I can't judge other people for being sinners too. I am going to be the one to show the same love that Christ showed me when I was down and out, rejected, confused, living in sin and getting taken down a difficult road because of it." We should be Christ's hands and feet and be the first to come along women and offer love and emotional and practical support without judgment or pressure.
And, of course, this warrants a reference to the story of Jesus and the woman taken in adultery. Many Evangelicals today act more like the triumphant men who brought the woman before Jesus to be condemned..."We found another sinner! See how disgusting and selfish she is! She cares nothing for God's law!" But Jesus silenced them with a mere phrase, "Let him without sin cast the first stone." Even these self-righteous exploiters knew they didn't fit the bill. What's more is that Jesus saw beyond the poster child for a sin that the men had made her to the desperate, broken, exploited person beneath. Some scholars have posited that the act of adultery may even have been a set up or trap because 1) why wasn't the man brought forward too and 2) the circumstances are a bit convenient of timing and fishy (did they go around bursting into homes to find people who might be committing adultery?) Perhaps Jesus saw behind the accusations to the circumstances and corrupt systems surrounding her that contributed to her sin. Jesus did not acquit her of the guilt of her mistake, saying, "Go now and sin no more", but he didn't kick her when she was already on the ground either. He didn't rub her sin in her face or condemn her publicly. Christians should use this behavior as a model in their own interactions with those who have "fallen from grace"...so basically everybody.
Overall, I think Christians need to keep in mind the circumstances surrounding unexpected pregnancies that can contribute to women's decision to get an abortion: poverty or lack of finances, lack of family support, pressure from a boyfriend, stigma and rejection (often from religious and pro-life people), fear, health problems, lack of parenting knowledge after coming from an unstable family, etc. Moreover, one could even go so far as to see helping with crisis pregnancies as a unique chance to minister to women in difficult-to-reach places who may never come to church otherwise. We don't need to make it an overtly religious ministry, as many Crisis Pregnancy Centers try not to do so the women don't feel proselytized or threatened, but we can offer unconditional love and compassionate service in the name of Christ and form relationships to encourage those in need. Practical measures such as knitting babywear, sewing blankets, collecting used and new children's items, taking a new or expecting mom out for lunch, accompanying her to birthing classes, recommending child care options or just listening all speak volumes to a woman going through this overwhelming life transition.
After all, was it not Christ who encouraged us to take in the homeless, feed the hungry, and look after and be there for those in desperate situations? One does not even need to be part of an official ministry to practice these admonitions. Let our dialogue about the abortion issue be compassionate and conscientious, not judgmental or vindictive. It is not our battle to win or lose. We can't say a biting enough phrase and win the debate or come up with a heart-wrenching enough statistic and melt all the hearts of the opposing viewpoint. Christ didn't call us to win his battles because he is the only one who can bring an end to sin and wrong in the world. He did call us to go into the world and love and support his creation, passing on his love that others might come to faith in him because of the testimony of our compassionate words and actions that attract people to Christ, not drive them away as partisan ranting is wont to. May our words be full of grace and seasoned with salt, and may we be those to come alongside anyone who is marginalized, abandoned or hurting knowing that Christ did the same for us.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ - Matthew 25:25-40
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. - Matthew 5:21-22
No comments:
Post a Comment